Dating a very religious girl
The girl I dated would say the same exact thing to me. If you happen to cook bacon for yourself when she’s staying over, grazer girl will snark at you for “stinking up the place”.
Sure, vegetarians will insist that they don’t judge you for your carnivorous barbarity, but you can easily observe her judging you in all the little mannerisms and passive-aggressive quirks she throws your way. Your urine water is gonna splash back up on my baby smooth ass cheeks. Although the above conversation sounded fun and teasing, I never could see my ex the same way again after that traumatic morning I first saw her yellow pee water. Her diet consisted of pasta, bread, beans, sprouts, quinoa, cereal, carrots and trail mix.I have a theory that the reason grazers react so violently to bacon aroma is because it smells SO GOOD it might tempt them to betray the Gaianist religion for which they have sacrificed so many years in penitential devotion. Now that Western Christianity is a dead letter religion among the suckup SWPL set, something needs to replace the evolution-sized hole left in their heads from the excision of the traditional organized religions. Most vegetarian chicks aren’t going to blatantly try to convert you. And they also know, on a subconscious level, that you as a man would be less attractive if you joined her in pasture grazing.That worshipful, in-group yearning is replaced by a new religion: the religion of “sustainable living.” Gaia is their God. So they smirk and sneer and judge but they won’t ever really push their insipid lifestyle on you.Nevertheless, their lifestyle is an imposition on yours. If she’s cooking, you’re going to be crabby eating her twigs and leaves. Grazer girls rob you of enjoying this pleasure to the fullest.
When the sun glinted off her cheeks, I could tell that her diet was going to result in premature wrinkling for her. One of the sublime pleasures in life is a medium rare filet mignon with a glass of pinot noir.
Although she had a nice figure from running and biking all the goddamned time, her un-made-up skin was sometimes blotchy. Heterosexual vegetarian men are so rare in the state of nature that few women have experience dealing with one.) A simple formula for those who need a demographic breakdown of vegetarians: Vegetarianism = single female SWPL.
Me: My god the urine smells so bad it’s singeing my nose hairs. Something triggered in the primitive sex part of my brain and she instantly lost 0.5 sexual market value points. Yello Mello Girl was also a 5-year vegetarian (shocker! For a vegetarian, I rarely saw her eat truly outstanding (and paleo-approved) vegetables like broccoli and kale.
If you’re cooking, prepare to brush up on vegetarian recipes.
Home cooking is always a one-way street with grazers.
Even the simple act of sharing platters at a restaurant becomes fraught with romance-killing difficulty.