16-Oct-2015 07:22

My son is dating a black girl

It's all fine and natural, and made easier by the fact that I trust my ex implicitly.When she developed in unexpected ways -- given her mother's genes -- her 15th year brought about physical changes that made it easy for anyone to see that she was becoming a young woman.

Under the gaze of giant posters of young-looking models, in a store oozing with sexuality, my daughter and I went bra shopping.She's 26, sitting poetically and chronologically in between my daughter and me.There's now a different kind of mating ritual than when I was dating my ex, with its own rhythms and signals and acceptable activities.I find myself doing things this time around that I typically wouldn't do at this stage of a relationship.It felt a bit like our earlier times at the playground, when the mothers would stare uncomfortably at the lone male in their midst, until they finally deemed me harmless.I kept my eyes glued to the floor the entire time, looking up only to pay for my daughter's purchases.

We barely exchanged a word, an unusual occurrence for both of us.

I've recently started dating a woman who is younger than me -- normally not my preference -- but she's smart and mature and I don't want to make any assumptions about who would or wouldn't make me happy.

While not a novel path by any means, one particular aspect has proven to be much more complicated than I'd have thought and feels like the direct result of both my age and the gender of my child.

We grew apart and divorced, and I'm now a still-young father and single.

As any father knows, having a teenaged daughter is a bumpy ride, filled with drama, confusion and lots of clothing.

My own daughter is a great girl in every way, and we've always enjoyed a very close relationship; it's taken some getting used to the notion that several topics are now off limits to me, conversations to be had only with her mother.

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